Britney Spears: Always the Epitome of Class and Sophistication

Britney Spears Changes Sean Preston Diaper - At Cash Register!
http://www.postchronicle.com/news/entertainment/tittletattle/article_21223110.shtml



In an apparently concerted effort to continue The Trailer Park Legend, Britney Spears just can't seem to get the knack of this motherhood thing, at least in public.
According to a report in Us Weekly, the pregnant-again Pop-Tart did a bit more than just pick up a few dainty things at the Mission Viejo Victoria's Secret in California.
The report says the Toxic performer got down on the floor right by the cash register and changed 9-month-old Sean Preston's dirty diaper. To make matters worse:
"Britney then tried to hand it to an employee," a source reportedly said. "The salesperson wouldn't take it."
The only thing good about this story is that diaper probably made its way to the garbage somehow, saving us all the possibility of yet another bizarro eBay auction.
I guess that's just how they do things where Britters is from.

Namibia Is SOOO Hot Right Now!!

Britney Spears going to Namibia to give birth - According to China Daily
http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/entertainment/2006-06/14/content_617023.htm

Britney Spears has told NBC's Matt Lauer that she will move to Namibia "in the near future" to prepare for the birth of her second child, a daughter who is due in "late September or early November." Breaking down in tears during the interview, which will be broadcast Thursday on the Today show and Friday on Dateline, Ms. Spears said she is "an emotional wreck" right now. She blames the paparazzi and the false tabloids for her fragile state of mind.
During the wide ranging interview, Ms. Spears denied rumors that her husband of twenty-one months, Kevin Federline, is living in their basement. She also said repeatedly that she is a "good mom," despite the fact that she was photographed driving her SUV with her son, Sean Preston, sitting on her lap.
"I did it with my dad," said Ms. Spears. "I'd sit on his lap and I'd drive. We're country."
For some reason, perhaps he was having a Tom Cruise flashback, Mr. Lauer neglected to mention that at the time the incident had occurred, last February, Ms. Spears had said her son was on her lap because she was trying to escape the paparazzi and didn't have time to buckle him in his seat.
Mr. Lauer did ask Ms. Spears why she had chosen Namibia for the birth of her child.
"Kevin has always been a fan of African-American culture," she replied. "I'm sure he'll feel at home there, rapping with all the natives. Besides, there's lots of quiet unpaved roads where Sean Preston and I can go driving."
Ms. Spears also said that Namibia reminds her of California "because it's on the ocean and there's lots of sand. So if Sean Preston fell off his swing and landed on his head, there's less chance he would be hurt and we'd have those snoops from child welfare up our butts all the time."
Finally, said Ms. Spears, "I heard that Namibia has laws that let celebrities say whether or not journalists are allowed in the country. That's so important, even more important than getting the same villa that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had."
In other news, an autopsy conducted at the request of the U.S. military revealed that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi had been dead "at least five minutes" before "a few overenthusiastic soldiers" began stomping on his chest and taunting him. (source:pugbus.com)

Does "We're Country" really mean "We're Whitetrash?"

NEW YORK (June 12) - Britney Spears says her marriage to Kevin Federline is "awesome," and scrutiny from the paparazzi has made her an "emotional wreck." Opening up in an interview with NBC's Matt Lauer to be aired Thursday on the "Today" show and "Dateline," the 24-year-old singer says it is not true that Federline is living in the basement, as some media have reported.
Spears insisted that she loves her husband.
"He helps me. He has to. I'm (an) emotional wreck right now," she said.
The paparazzi have "crossed the line a little bit" by showing her in private moments, she said. She also defended her parenting skills, saying, "I know I'm a good mom."
She drew criticism earlier this year when she was photographed with her infant son, Sean, sitting on her lap as she drove. She cautions against judging her.
"I did it with my dad. I'd sit on his lap and I drive," the Louisiana native said. "We're country."
The singer said she feels like a target. Asked what she would say to the paparazzi as individuals, she says: "You have a life. And if you don't, you have to realize that we're people and that we ... just need privacy and we need our respect. And those are things that you have to have as a human being."
Federline and Spears married in the fall of 2004, and their son, Sean Preston, was born last September. She revealed last month that she is pregnant again.
Federline also has two children, Kori and Kaleb, with his former girlfriend, Shar Jackson.

Jessica's looking better

Alanis Morisette, Ryan Reynolds Split

Maybe he realized he is WAYYYYY too hot for her? Beware couples who never set a wedding date...

Singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette and her fiancé for the past two years, actor Ryan Reynolds, have split, a source close to the couple confirms to PEOPLE.

Morissette, 32, and Reynolds, 29, first met at Drew Barrymore's birthday party in 2002 and dated for two years before becoming engaged in 2004.

In June 2005, Morissette told PEOPLE.com of her fiancé, "He's just such a supportive creature. I feel so loved by him, in a trampoline kind of way. He's always very happy for me."

She credited the success of their relationship in part to the fact that they're both Canadian. "We already started off with the shorthand, so I think it's a really great base. I attempted dating many American men. I tried!"

No wedding date was ever announced. "We're just really enjoying this (engagement) phase," Morissette told PEOPLE.com last year. Said Reynolds, "We feel like we're already married." Reps for Morissette and Reynolds could not be reached for comment.

Help! I'm being attacked by Asians!

Nicole Richie at the San Diego Airport.

McConaughey & Cruz Breakup

I always wondered how these 2 conversed, considering she speaks Spanish and he speaks pure white trash.

Matthew McConaughey & Penelope Cruz Are 'Separating'

Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz have decided to spend time apart, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.

The couple "have decided to take time off as a couple. Due to busy work schedules and so much time apart, they mutually decided four weeks ago that separating was the best thing to do at this time," according to a joint statement from the couple to PEOPLE.

"They're very good friends, but they haven't been able to be together," a source close to Cruz tells PEOPLE. "Who knows what the future holds."

Cruz, 32, is currently in Spain filming Manolete, a drama about the legendary Spanish bullfighter, costarring Adrien Brody. Meanwhile, McConaughey, 36, is in the U.S. shooting We Are Marshall, about former Marshall University football coach Jack Lengyel.

"(Penelope) said it has been too hard to have a relationship when you see the other person every six weeks," adds the source. The couple last saw each other in March when McConaughey visited Cruz on location in Spain.

McConaughey, PEOPLE's Sexiest Man Alive, and Cruz have been dating for more than a year. They met while filming last year's Sahara.

At least this one doesn't look like Jessica's twin

Nick Lachey's New Gal

What's left of Nick Lachey six months after the breakup of his marriage to Jessica Simpson? Plenty, it seems.

The singer – while managing to escape the attention of the press – has been dating stylist Kim Kardashian for the past month, sources tell PEOPLE.

The twosome chatted the night away at Hollywood hot spot Shag May 15 and were photographed May 24 at an afternoon showing of The Da Vinci Code in Westwood. (The pair held hands as they exited the theater, but separated when photographers started snapping.)

"They're sweet on each other," a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE. "It's the beginning stages of a relationship." (His rep had no comment.)

What's the attraction? Friends point out that Lachey, 32, and Kardashian, 25 – who met at a party for Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart last month – have at least one thing in common: failed marriages. Kardashian, whose father is the late O.J. Simpson trial attorney Robert Kardashian, divorced music producer Damon Thomas in 2004.

"Part of the attraction is they have both gone through similar life situations," says the source. "They developed a bond."

Still, Lachey may be going slow. "For Nick to settle down," says a pal, "it will take someone who is a lifelong partner."

Get out of the car, Sienna!

Somewhere along the way Sienna took a really bad turn.

Bad day, Jess?

Someone doesn't look happy. I wonder if she heard about Nick's new girlfriend?

Maybe she's realizing that her puppy isn't a great stand-in for a man...

Nose jobs: not such a good idea

And someone doesn't even look like herself. This nose job has really made Ashlee Simpson unrecognizable.
















It reminds me of Jennifer Grey from Dirty Dancing. Talk about a dramatic transformation.

Quotes of the Week

• "The first question was, 'What was your worst break-up?' And I just kind of looked at the guy and I said, 'Really? Are ya kiddin?' "– Jennifer Aniston, on doing interviews with the foreign press for her movie The Break-Up, to David Letterman

• "Good luck in your ongoing non-relationship with Vince Vaughn."– David Letterman, to Aniston, who has yet to admit she's dating her costar

• "I don't tire of (the questions), because I would do the same."– Vince Vaughn, confessing that he would be just as curious about his relationship status as the rest of the world, to Entertainment Weekly

• "(It's) utterly tacky, not even true, and it hurt my feelings because I like him."– Mandy Moore, refuting ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama's claim the she lost her virginity to him, to Elle

• "What started out as a joke got completely carried away and I am horrified at the words that came out of my mouth. I consider Lindsay a friend and I hope she accepts my sincere apology for my reprehensible actions last week."– Billionaire heir Brandon Davis, asking forgiveness from Lindsay Lohan for the offensive remarks he made about her in a videotaped rant

Finally we can all get over this

I wonder if the bounty is larger on Shiloh's head or Suri's head for the first baby pictures.

'Angie & Baby Are Fantastic'

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have welcomed a baby girl, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, a rep for the couple confirmed Saturday in a statement to PEOPLE. "Angie and baby are fantastic," a source close to the couple told PEOPLE on Sunday. "Brad was at her side during the birth."

The child was born Saturday, May 27, at night, in the African country of Namibia. Shiloh – which in one longstanding translation from the Bible has come to mean "the peaceful one" – was born in The Cottage Hospital in Swakopmund. Jolie is expected to remain in the hospital for a couple days before returning to the couple's sea-side Namibian retreat.

Meanwhile, Namibia's Environment and Tourism Deputy Minister, Leon Jooste, explained: "Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt will, according to Namibian law, be allowed to obtain Namibian citizenship, if the parents should choose to do so." He added that discussion of the child's passport will be taken up with her parents "at a later stage."

Back in the U.S., the manager for Jolie's estranged father, Oscar-winning actor Jon Voight, 67, told New York's Daily News that Voight is "really excited for them both. He can't wait to hold the baby in his arms and be grandpa."

The new parents, along with kids Maddox, 4, and Zahara, 1, have been staying at the luxury resort in Namibia since April, where their personal security team and Namibian police have shielded them from paparazzi. Last week, the Namibian government said foreign journalists wishing to cover the birth must have written permission from Pitt and Jolie to enter the country and obtain a work permit.

The new girl is the couple's first biological child. Jolie adopted Maddox from Cambodia in 2002 and Zahara from Ethiopia last year. Pitt is in the process of legally adopting both children. The baby is the latest step in a life-changing year during which Pitt and Jolie went from costars (in last summer's slick crime thriller Mr. and Mrs. Smith) to supercouple to, finally, Mommy and Daddy.

"It's the idea that you love one another and you want to create a family together," a friend of the couple's told PEOPLE earlier this year. "What's beautiful is you can do it by birth (or) by adoption."

Word that Angelina was pregnant first broke on Jan. 11, when representatives of both stars confirmed the baby news to PEOPLE after the actress and U.N. goodwill ambassador had confided to a charity aid worker in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic: "Yes, I'm pregnant."

The pregnancy news – which came shortly after Pitt's announcement that he planned to adopt Maddox and Zahara – might have been a media bombshell, but it was a natural progression for the pair who put nest-building on the fast track. Jolie, 30, had long spoken about expanding her family, and told PEOPLE last October that she would like to adopt again. "There's something about making a choice, waking up and traveling somewhere and finding your family," she said.

Pitt, 42, has also often talked about wanting a family. He has no children from his 4-year marriage to Jennifer Aniston, which ended last year. "I think he'll be wonderful (with the new baby)," Pitt's Assassination of Jesse James costar, Mary-Louise Parker, told PEOPLE earlier this year. "He's a great guy, conscientious and kind. I'm happy for both of them."

Nothing like a new baby to make you want to get drunk

Gavin Rossdale exiting a liquor store the very same day his wife Gwen Stefani birthed his child, Kingston James McGregor Rossdale.

Gavin, we don't care if you are getting champagne to celebrate your new son, you might want to wait a couple days before hitting the liquor store.

Mom of the Year

Britney and baby Sean in Malibu.

You can tell she's thinking really hard about not dropping him.

* Odd Couple Alert *

Heather Locklear & David Spade.

What is she thinking???

"I'm gonna get back at Denise & Richie by dating...David Spade."

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Jennifer Aniston & Vince Vaughan at a Chicago Cubs game on Monday. Bet Diet Pepsi's real happy about that product placement.

Some insider Hollywood gossip

This is from a credible Hollywood source and sheds some light on recent entertainment gossip:

* Nicole Richie had her stomach stapled-that's why she is so small. She did it right after the first season of the Simple Life. Therefore all this buzz about her admitting she "thinks she is too skinny" is not true. She obviously wants to be that skinny.

* The contract between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is very real and basically states that Katie is getting paid to be with him. Every year she stays with him she gets more, and having a baby = $5 million in her pocket! Her parents are freaking out and cannot believe their daughter would go through this all for money. None ofthe gossip mags/TV shows can report on this though because Tom is known as the most powerful actor in Hollywood and he could basically put them out of business if they showed the contract.

* Lindsay Lohan is a druggie slut that goes around trying to hook up with anything and everything. She approached one of [the source's] guy friends and asked him if he and his buddy would join her in her room for a threesome. She is known for this!

* The biggest bitches in Hollywood?? Jessica and Ashlee Simpson!! They go around places acting like they own the place and are very rude. Cacee, Jess's assistant, quit because she and Nick have a little thing.

* Jessica divorced Nick because she thought her fling with Adam Levine was for real and she was in love with him. When Adam found out she was divorcing Nick for him, it freaked him out and he never called her again.

* Ryan Seacrest is really nice, cool and fun. He thinks Teri Hatcher is absolutely crazy! He said after they hooked up once she stalked him nonstop and went crazy on him!!

* The reason Nicole and Paris aren't friends really is because Nicole did show the "One night in Paris" sex video at a party she held at her house. Paris thought Nicole was trying to embarrass her and they haven't talked since.

Geri Halliwell Names Daughter Bluebell Madonna, It Could Have Been Worse - At Least the Kid Wasn't Named Phinnaeus

I hope the kid gets in a play group with Keith Richard's child Dandelion and Jude and Sadie's Iris.
Check out a whole list of future junior highers who will be beat up:
http://www.sky.com/showbiz/article/0,,50001-1169841,00.html
A personal favorite is Jason Lee's child: Pilot Inspektor

Uncle Jessie We Miss You!!

How cute is John Stamos??

Pic of John at the "Lucky Magazine Club 2006"

Hello Goodbye Heather!

We were always a little bit wary about Heather anyway. Stella never warmed up to her, plus she only has one leg. It looks like now she can afford a diamond encrusted prosthesis.

From Accesshollywood.com:
Paul & Heather: What's At Stake?
On Wednesday, Paul McCartney and Heather Mills announced they were separating after nearly four years of marriage.
And now, with a mind-blowing amount of money at stake, there is even more fallout from the split.
In fact, there is so much money at stake, it's enough to make this the biggest divorce ever to hit a British court.
"In the United Kingdom, people can have pre-nuptial agreements, but the courts aren't bound to honor them," divorce lawyer Alton Abramowitz told Access Hollywood.
So what is at stake here?
Sir Paul is worth an estimated $1.5 billion, but British family lawyer Alan Kaufman said the length of the marriage is also important.
"The fact that it's a very short marriage, that makes a very big impact," Kaufman explained.
They were married just four years, but in that time, Paul has made an estimated $200 million. As far as real estate, Paul owns a home in London; one in East Sussex, Scotland; and at least two in the U.S. – with one in Tucson, Arizona and one in East Hampton, New York.
"The courts seem to really reallocate assets in England much more generously than in the United States," Abramowitz added. "Two hundred to three hundred million dollars might be in the picture."
Others speculate Heather could walk away with more – as much as $376 million. That's 25% of Paul's' fortune (or $1.8 million for every week they were married).
And as for custody of their two-and-a-half year old daughter Beatrice Milly?
"I doubt there will be a fight there," Abramowitz said. "More often than not, judges favor mothers because judges were raised by their mothers."

Please Support SaveSeanPreston.Org

Please keep sweet Sean Preston on the top of your prayer list of souls that need to be saved from the evil powers that be. Sean's life is put in danger each and every day and he needs to be rescued.

Members: continued support is also needed to save Katie Holmes and her new child Suri.

Keep fighting the good fight!

PS - creepy mustache on the dude behind Britney. I wonder if he works for Slugworth.

Does Namibia Seem Like the Safest Place to Give Birth to a Child?

For some reason, it just doesn't seem like the most advanced/sanitary place to bring a human into the world.

A Namibian Name for Baby Brangelina?by Sarah Hall Apr 17, 2006, 10:10 AM PT
Maddox and Zahara Jolie-Pitt's new sibling will be born in Namibia. He or she may be given a Namibian name. There may or may not be lions keeping the paparazzi at bay during the birth.
That's the latest word coming out of the remote African nation where Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have touched down to await the arrival of their much anticipated offspring.
Samuel Sheefeni Nuuyoma, the governor of the Namibian province where the Pitt-Jolie clan is reportedly holed up at a seaside resort, said the couple confirmed to him that the baby will be born in Namibia.
"They are having the baby here, and they talked about giving the child a Namibian name," Nuuyoma told the Sunday Times of South Africa.
Nuuyoma apparently got the inside scoop from the couple when he had breakfast with them on Friday. He said that Jolie made the decision to give birth in his country because "she loves Namibia." The actress spent several weeks in the country in 2002 while filming Beyond Borders.
Since arriving in Namibia a couple of weeks ago, the family has reportedly visited several remote game preserves, where they were said to be taking advantage of wild lions allowed to roam free on the property to keep prying photographers away.
Apart from the feline detail, the Mr. and Mrs. Smith costars are also under the protection of a team of human bodyguards, who haven't won many friends among the band of reporters attempting to cover the expectant couple.
The Sunday Times carried a picture of one bodyguard purportedly pepper spraying a paparazzo who dared come too close and claimed that members of the security team have issued threats to other reporters.
The Namibian government has chimed in on protecting the couple's privacy, warning journalists entering the country without valid work permits that they could be arrested.
Meanwhile, residents of the area are said to be irritated by the measures taken by the bodyguards to shield their high-profile clients.
"They're out of control. It's a public beach and yet they carry on as if they own it," one man told the Sunday Times. "They really don't have to be so aggressive. They can't just go around threatening people. I sympathize with Brad and Angelina because they do want privacy, but on the other hand they are public figures and there is a lot of interest in their visit."
Nuuyoma said the couple was adamant that they were on a family vacation and did not want to be photographed. He said he wanted Jolie and Pitt to feel "at home and free" on their travels.
"Namibia is a country where everyone has the right to freedom of movement, and they must not feel inhibited when they visit this beautiful country of ours," he told the Sunday Times.
Before jetting to Namibia, the couple stopped in Paris where they shopped for a variety of baby clothes that seemed to indicate they were expecting a girl.
"We think it's a girl, but we're not 100 percent certain," Jolie was reportedly overheard saying during the shopping spree. Just in case, the actress also picked up a gray T-shirt bearing the word "boy."
Published reports have claimed Jolie is due on May 18. Pitt's rep, Cindy Guagenti, confirmed the pregnancy on Jan. 11.
The child will be the first biological offspring for both Jolie and Pitt. Jolie adopted four-year-old Maddox from Cambodia in 2002, and one-year-old Zahara from Ethiopia last year.
Pitt has since announced his intent to become the children's adoptive father. The couple's motion to change the kids' surname to Jolie-Pitt was granted in January.

Blaine Did Not Drown Himself in Globe

DAMN IT!!

NEW YORK (AP) - David Blaine was unconscious and having convulsions when he was rescued from his 2.4-metre aquarium during a breath-holding stunt, his trainer said Tuesday.

'I wasn't focused on records; I was thinking of a rescue,' said trainer Kirk Krack, a free-diving expert. Blaine was convulsing and 'unconscious when we brought him to the surface. If we hadn't intervened, he would still be at the bottom of the sphere doing a breath-hold.'

The 33-year-old illusionist had been submerged in the aquarium with an oxygen mask for a week. Rescue divers jumped into the 7,500-litre saltwater tank Monday night and hauled him up.

He was rescued as he struggled to break a breath-holding record of eight minutes, 58 seconds. Blaine, who had spent some 177 hours underwater, went without air for seven minutes, eight seconds as a finale to his endurance stunt at Lincoln Center, which was televised live on ABC.

Blaine checked himself out of Roosevelt Hospital on Tuesday. Friends took him out of the hospital in a wheelchair and then helped him walk to a waiting car.

At home, he took a hot shower, played cards and was able to eat.

But "he was crying" Monday night, said Dr. Murat Gunel, the head of Blaine's medical team. "He still feels today that he let people down."

Blaine's liver and kidney functions had suffered while he was submerged but are now improving. His skin, which was peeling Monday night, "looks much better today," said Gunel.

His team concluded that strenuous training and losing 50 pounds so his body would require less oxygen left Blaine too tired before he entered the sphere.

They said Blaine wants to try the breath-holding stunt again. Next time, he plans to be in better shape, and do it without being in a tank for a week beforehand.

"He is going over everything he did and analyzing what happened," said Gunel, associate professor of neurosurgery at Yale University School of Medicine. "He is remarkably strong."

"I think he was a great success," said Krack, adding there are only a handful of people who can hold their breath for more than four minutes with training.

Blaine started training in December, with some help from Navy SEALS. The water temperature was regulated to help keep his core temperature near 37 C, and he ate and relieved himself through tubes.

His previous feats included balancing on a 55-centimetre circular platform atop a 30-metre pole for 35 hours, being buried alive in a see-through coffin for a week and surviving inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours, all of which were performed in New York. In 2003, he fasted for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over the Thames River in London.

Spears Announces Pregnancy on Letterman - Huge Shocker

After weeks of speculation, it's now official -- Britney Spears is pregnant with her second child.

The syndicated television newsmagazine Entertainment Tonigh reports the singer made the announcement today during a taping of the Late Show with David Letterman in New York.Spears' publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnick, confirmed the pregnancy.The pop princess jokingly told Letterman, 'Don't worry Dave, it's not yours.' Spears and her husband, backup dancer-turned-rapper Kevin Federline, were married in 2004 and have an eight-month-old son, Sean Preston.Federline also has two children, Kori and Kaleb, with his former girlfriend, Shar Jackson.

Bitter, Party of 1

And I would be too if my husband dumped me for one of the most unattractive women on the face of the earth, and then proceeded to tattoo her hideous face multiple times all over his body.

This poor woman has it tough. Her husband left her, and her name is Eunace.

Dean McDermott's Ex-Wife Blasts Him & Tori

Not everyone is sending congratulatory wishes to Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott, who were married Sunday on a private tropical island in Fiji. McDermott's ex-wife, Toronto TV personality Mary Jo Eustace – who was wed to the actor for 12 years and has a 7-year-old son and 10-month-old adopted daughter with him – is being very vocal about her disapproval of the union.

"It all could have been done so different," Eustace tells Toronto's Globe & Mail newspaper. "Right from the beginning, it was all about them. I confronted him once and said, 'Do you know how (all this publicity) makes me and my family feel? Do not do this.' He was like, 'I did not even look at it that way.'"

Particularly upsetting to Eustace was the new groom's comment to PEOPLE at his wedding last weekend. He said: "I've never had as much of a desire to get married and make a woman my wife as I've had with her. The feeling is overwhelming. We're soul mates." Eustace considers the remark to be "the final nail."

Spelling, 32, and McDermott, 39, met last summer in Ottawa while filming the TV movie Mind Over Murder. At the time, the former Beverly Hills 90210 star was wed to actor-writer Charlie Shanian, and McDermott was still with Eustace.

Eustace, referring to Brad Pitt's relationship with Angelina Jolie, which started shortly after his split from Jennifer Aniston, says: "I have a great deal of empathy for Jennifer Aniston. She said I'm not going to be defined by this situation and this relationship. If you allow yourself to reside in that place, you won't be able to function."

Eustace does say that McDermott did let her know that he and Spelling were getting married – once she inquired after the fact. "Logistically, because I had to take care of my son, I asked him point-blank. I didn't want any more surprises," says Eustace, adding that her ex advised her of his upcoming tropical wedding two weeks ahead of time.

Eustace now is taking any lingering resentment and putting together a memoir. "The past year was a nightmare, but it was also funny," she says. "I have to have a lot of humor about it. I have to embrace that side of it or I'd dis-empower myself."

When news of the book was first reported, Spelling and McDermott told the New York Post: "It's opportunistic and undignified that she would want to exploit her former marriage for monetary gain. We only wish her the very best."

As for the contents of the prospective book, Eustace says that among other things, she’ll write about "the meltdown I had at the driver's license bureau because I'd missed my appointment. I started to cry and told the guy my husband had left me for Tori Spelling. He let me take my test … So, see, it has an upside too."

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Star Jones to Plug Self into Unemployment Line

According to sources at The View, Star Jones is out like Angelina’s belly button. ABC is expected to announce this week that the Payless spokeswoman and breast lift survivor will be leaving the talk show.

The New York Post reports that Rosie O’Donnell would only agree to succeed out-going View cohost Meredith Vieira if Barbara Walters gave Jones the boot:

“It was always Rosie’s condition of joining the show, and Barbara agreed to those conditions from the outset,” our source said. The network and Jones are now concocting a face-saving scenario in which Jones will be touted as moving on to pursue important new projects. […]

There’s been bad blood on the set, particularly with cohost Joy Behar. Star was secretly dubbed “Bridezilla” two years ago after she took untold freebies from wedding suppliers in exchange for plugs on the show. And she threw a hissy fit when ABC suits banned her from plugging Payless shoes, which paid for her endorsement.

The irony of it all? Now Star Jones is literally a payless spokeswoman. Heh!

Ashlee Simpson: Before & After Nose Job Pics